I have a couple of questions:
How can one make tartare sauce without sweet pickles or sweet pickle relish?
Why are even the ovens on The Great British Bake-Off so tiny air doesn't circulate well and you have to turn a tray of cookies five times in a ten minute baking period if you don't want some raw and some burnt?
I could also ask why the British can't make a cole slaw worth eating, but then someone might think I was bashing my adopted nation, and I wouldn't want that.
Really, I wouldn't.
I'm sure Brits moving to America are just as flummoxed by a few things, but maybe they are just too polite to say so. Or maybe America really does have good “stuff.”
So, the tartare sauce thing.
I'm not a fan of dill pickles under any circumstances. Half-dills...well, now and then. If I must. But I'm quite fond of bread-and-butter pickles—sweet pickles—and sweet pickle relish. It's good on hot dogs and sometimes on burgers, depending on mood. But it is essential for making tartare sauces. Even the Bible of kitchen instructions and recipes, The Joy of Cooking, says so. So I just sometimes bite the bullet and buy a freaking expensive jar of pickle relish or even more expensive bread-and-butter pickles from one of the US foods import companies, or from Amazon.co.uk. Problem solved, at a price.
But then there's the oven issue. Even as I type, I think I'll have to run downstairs and turn two trays of zucchini (Brits read courgette) chips I've got in there baking for 2 hours at 200 degrees F. (OK, in the UK, it's about 100 degrees C.) I have yet to figure out how one could cook a sizeable turkey in the standard UK oven. I was astonished on watching The Great British Bake-Off that the ovens all those hoping-to-be-professional bakers were given were the same size as the pitiful thing that came with the house we bought. And yes, they were forever on their hands and knees, peering hopefully into their ovens, or reaching for an oven mitt to turn the tray or pan.
Speaking of which: oven mitts. I'm sorry, but I don't necessarily want my hands tethered together with a bit of cloth that folds over my hands like a wash mitt whenever I have to move a hot pot or pan. I want two quilted objects, one in each hand and not tethered in any way, to pick things up. What if the pan is bigger than the fabric between the mitts is long? Oh, right. Not a problem; the ovens are not large enough for that to happen. Still, it seems daft to me. I mean, where do you put them? Do they lie around the counter all day and night? Do you stuff them in the silverware drawer? Potholders—those cunning little squares of quilted fabric—usually come with loops at one corner so you can—ta da!--hang them on cunning little hooks in a convenient place in the kitchen. What a concept!
I did finally find pot holders online at Mole Valley Farmers. Usually, Mole Valley Farmers sells farm equipment, as its name implies. And wellies. And cow drenches. And equine meds. That sort of thing. After q quick search of their website just now, it appears I'm SOL for replacements for the four I ordered a few years back. I could get a lovely Tractor Ted lunch box, though.
